Why I don't believe in coincidences

Ana Alverado has been sent to my office to get registered on the new time clock. Instead of a simple meeting, I have managed to make her cry. It's not even 10:30 am, yet it's a typical Wednesday here at United 1 Labs.

As the on-site supervisor for a manufacturing plant I have all sorts of interesting "to-do's," the most massive of which in my first week has been to register 200 or so Hispanic employees into our fancy, new time clock. The clock captures an image of each person's thumb so that he or she can clock in with nothing but a fingerprint. Unlike the old time cards, employees can't leave their fingers at home. Or so I hope.

So one by one I pull the ladies and gents out of production and start thumb-printing. It was all a very smooth process until Ana came along.

Ana is one of the oldest employees on the staff. Considering the difficulty and hot conditions of the product lines, I am surprised to see her there at all. She's in her mid-50's. She has salt and pepper hair that the color grey is trying to take over, but hasn't quite made it all the way. Her eyes are dark brown. They look calm and kind. She looks much older than she is, much like a grandmother. But you can see the age only in her face, as though it was put there by a great emotional weight.  

I register Ana, but before she leaves to return to production, she remains seated in the purple chair next to my desk. The wall in front of her is a wide, tall glass window, and she looks out of it a moment before speaking in Spanish.

"I have been with the company for 4 years. I work very hard, despite my age, and the gentlemen of the company congratulate me. I need help to get my vacation check. I do not want to take off, I just want to keep working and get the check. How can we do it?"

With plenty more employees waiting to give me their prints I really don't have much time for conversation. But something.. A little inkling that comes from no where tells me to spend a little more time with her. So I do just that.

I hear myself respond in my ultra-Gringa accent. "Is this your only job?"

"No," she goes on in Spanish. "I work at night, too, where I clean offices. I get home at about midnight, then I come back to the plant at 6 in the morning. Every day."

Her tone is not arrogant. She is not bragging, neither looking for sympathy. I don't even think she is proud. She is simply.. determined. And I simply cannot resist but press further.

"Forgive my frankness," I begin, "But may I ask what motivates you?"

Ana's eyes, creased with tiny, yet somehow darling wrinkles, change immediately. I have obviously caught her off guard. I am, after all, supposed to be an authority figure. My question has exposed my own vulnerability in acknowledging that I may benefit from what my employee, a subordinate, has to say. I probably shouldn't have asked it. But there is no turning back.

At that moment, as though this was the first time in a long time in which someone had shown an interest in her aspirations, her expression brightened. "What motivates me?" She repeats aloud, pensively, as though saying the question will help her process the answer. "Well," she begins. 

And Ana's story unfolds. 

We flash back to the night Ana plays over in her head every day without fail. Her dear son, a newlywed, called her on the way home from work. It was 11:45 PM on Thursday in Dallas. He asked her if she wanted something to eat, then suddenly said in a panic, "Mom, something is happening. Something is happening. I love you so much. Take care-" Then the phone disconnected. 

It has been two years since that night. To this day, when Ana is not working, she takes the bus to Dallas, where she posts flyers in local businesses and telephone poles. The flyers have a picture of her son, and offer a $10,000 reward for information that will lead to the arrest of the men who took his life that night. "The facts don't add up," she says in tears. "Why was the passenger door open if his car crashed? Did the car crash before or after he was shot? I have so many unanswered questions," she sobs through bloodshot eyes.

One year after losing her son, Ana became a widow when her husband was hit by a drunk driver. In fact, in a 5-year span, Ana has lost the people closest to her: her parents, son, and soulmate. 

Still, something keeps her moving. If she can just save a little more money, she can pay to bring her grandson back from Guatemala. He is a citizen, but has to pay a penalty for being out of the country so long. She has hope.. Something to work for. Her grandson, she says, is all she has left of her son. 

And so, Ana keeps on working. It doesn't matter that her hands and feet are tired, or that she hasn't had a day off for as far back as she can remember. She still has a reason to go on.

Seated across from Ana I realize that I am no longer the "Supervisora." That part of me has temporarily left my body. I have been reduced to a human, a mere mortal incredibly swayed by the strength of a woman who has been drug through hell and back, and yet finds a way to get out of bed every morning and work to the bone. I want to bust down the door to my boss's office, jump on top of his $5,000 desk, and demand four weeks of paid vacation for Ana, one week for every year she has been with the company. I want to overdraw my bank account to give her the $1500 she needs to bring her grandson back here. 

But what I want most is to go to the police station and demand to know what those pigs have done to find the pieces of shit who took her son to an ATM and then shot him twice in the back. Or have 5 minutes alone with the jackass who chose to drive drunk and change this innocent woman's life forever. They took more than two lives. They took Ana's, too. Her joy, her memories. God forgive me but may they meet an unbearable end.

Ana gets up to leave, and I stand up, too. "Please come and find me if I can help you in any way." 

Later in the day I thought long and hard about the kind of courage it would take to push forward despite those kinds of circumstances. A situation at work made me stay later than usual, but around 5 I was headed home. At the precise moment I was pulling out of the office I saw someone in the company uniform walking down the street. As I slowed down, I realized it was Ana. And I inexplicably knew, without a doubt, that we were crossing paths again for a reason. I drove her across town to her next job, and on the way, she could talk of nothing but her love for her lost son and husband. Her grief was almost palpable.

Then she said she was so glad I had stopped, because she had wanted to ask me for a favor, but wasn't certain if it was appropriate. With great humility she asked if I would spare just a few minutes every week or so to call for news about her son's case. She had been anxious for answers, but unable to communicate with the English-speaking investigator.

For the second time in one day, I watched Ana wipe tears from her face as she thanked me for listening to her. I told her it had been my pleasure. I've never spoken truer words.   

Wearing my Trench coat, and wearing it well

Do you ever find yourself looking around and saying, "How exactly did I get here?" This, my friends, is the story of my life. Despite that I set out with a chief aim and fiery determination, the curve balls start ripping out of no where, faster than I can keep up. The only thing left to do is catch what I can and dodge the rest. 

I had somehow convinced myself that I could be lucky, really lucky, in the same career field twice in a lifetime. I was sure that if I packed up my things and said goodbye to everyone I know then I'd be back soon enough with the same pile of cash that I had made those short years ago. I'd achieve my dream of paying off my credit, and I'd find a fun, lucrative business to pour my heart into.

I wanted so badly to re-create the magic I felt back when I first started doing home renovation sales. I didn't even know I was a salesperson I was having so much fun.  But the playing field has changed, and the years..Well, they have changed me.

As we get older, we become wiser, and it isn't always to our advantage. We become painfully aware of our own weaknesses and flaws. Those of us who are ambitious must work harder to overcome rejection and our fears of not being good enough. I am much like a child who at 7 cheerfully dances at a birthday party, but at 13 has become far to shy to dare take such a risk.

Sometimes, I long for that ignorance. I wish learning could be retroactive. I wonder what it would be like to have a Benjamin Button sort of life.

So what that I have literally hundreds of competitors? Yes, it's 110 degrees outside, and I'm melting like a snow cone, but sunblock is in stock. Never mind a social life, family reunions, meeting my nephew, and having a day off every now and then. I'm certain that I'll get over the awful smells of my second job. And hey, there's always the option of buying my own health insurance since neither of my employers offer it.

These things are irrelevant in the grand scheme of things.. right? One of my favorite all-time quotes that I try to say to myself every day...

"If I do what is easy, then later my life will be hard. If I do what is hard, then later my life will be easy."

I have made the decision that I will be financially independent, and if that means rolling in the trenches, then hand me my Trench Coat. My future will not be that of someone stuck in a job that he or she does not enjoy because they were not willing to look harder for opportunities.

So I guess I am complaining because I want so badly to complain, but the best thing to do is shut my mouth, go back to work, and daydream of the day when life is easier. When I throw ridiculously large theme parties for my closest friends' birthdays.. When I build my dream home with secret passageways and slides that take you downstairs. I'll invite my loved ones to stay, and maybe they'll never leave. My non-profit organizations will jump, jive, and wail. My private chef will be tragically overpaid, and my pool boy will be of humble origins.. Tan and dirty.. I can see him now.

I know these days will come, and the thought of them keep me going.

Attracting opportunity

Why does the water drip so slooooooooowly?

Lately the theme of my life has been attracting opportunity. And I mean, quality opportunity. It's working out so far, but sometimes the process gets the hiccups.

Helping people who want to help themselves is a pleasurable, fun experience that I want more of. I take joy in watching an opportunist blossom now that someone else believes in him (or her :). The people who surround us and support us are more important than many of us realize.  

But I am only one person, and self motivation is not exactly my forte. Some days it's at 100%. I'm a purebred stallion (or at least Mr. Ed) barreling through the inside lane in full form. Dant-ta-da-daaaaa! 

Other days I have to go back to my goal list and make a concerted effort to remind myself of why I began this journey, and why I deserve to be better than average. If I could just be one of those ultra-energetic people, all the time. My production would be through the roof. Where is Olivia Newton-John when you need her?  

Let's get physical, physical!

Have you guys ever seen her in concert? That woman is en llames!

At this point I'd even settle for Richard Simmons.

So yes, there is a tiny seed inside of me that wants to and is sprouting. One day, out of nowhere, it's going to become a beanstalk, and I will scale it all the way arriba, until I find my big-toothed giant with a sloppy grin. My big business idea. He will stare down at me and say, what took you so long?

I remind myself not to rush it - but to push for 120% every day. One day soon I'll say to Mom: Mom, the day has come. You don't have to work anymore. Let's go check out the borealis.

I cling to tiny, yet powerful aspirations like these. They help me keep the seed watered...

How do you keep watering yours?

This is Cherry Pie in the Capitol City, signing off for now.

Unraveling the latest mystery

Stocks of the 1800's and the year 2012:  I see similarities! :)~

A great mystery has been solved this 12th day of March.

For years after reading The Awakening I wondered why exactly the lovely Mrs. Pontellier chose to fling herself into the sea at the end of the novel. Now I understand: Mr. Pontellier made her do his E-trading.

Ok, ok - so the online brokers aren't quite so maddening to work with. But learning the process is frustrating enough to make anyone want to find a cliff and go out Castaway style.  

I thought I'd take advantage of today's grumpy weather by diving into the elusive investment realm known as the stock market. (Did anyone just shiver? :D) Just the mention of stocks and I think of hundreds of well-dressed brokers pooling on the floor of the Exchange, arms flailing as the Big Business tycoons watch them through their Vegas-like "eye in the sky." I always wondered, what's written on the little pieces of paper they wave determinedly in the air? Are they the last Golden Tickets? Hehe. 

A tip in the Business section of the local paper has me convinced that an Argentina-based company with a promising future will be the perfect stock to christen my bright new portfolio.  So I rev the engine of my cherry red '72 Camaro (in reality, my comfy home office chair) and jump onto the internet Superhighway, ready to burn some serious informational rubber. After two hours of research, though, my engine is broke down, and spitting out more smoke than pot puffers at a Van Halen concert. 

Limit orders? Day only stocks? Much like the auto industry, stock trading seems to have a dialect of its own. Don't get me wrong - I'm a fan of foreign language, especially the romantic ones. But I can't imagine being wooed by anything called "market capitalization".

Yet I also can't imagine a broker taking hefty commissions on my earnings. So I'm faced with the decision of spending long hours to educate myself, which still may not qualify me as a financial adviser, or let an experienced trader handle my moolah.

The problem is that I am a do-it-yourselfer. Another "male trait" I somehow inherited, you could say. I don't like to give up control - or hard-earned cash - unless I absolutely have to. Anybody else feel this way?

And so - you guessed it - I'm getting under the hood to fix her myself. In other words etrade.com and I are about to have a roll in the hay. I figure the worst that could happen is that I get frustrated and start flailing my hands in the air like those Wall Street junkies. At least by that point I'll have something in common with the real hard-hitters, which is one step above being an amateur :)  

I figure as long as I run the race tortoise style, slow and steady, I'll be able to fend for my own. Take that, you bunch of Hares.   

This is Cha Cha, signing off. :)

Wierd facts and good advice about the ever-changing auto industry

Update, March 6, 2013: Today I found a little-known tool that will prove to be a gold nugget for anyone in the used car market. Use the site below to check the recall and "secret warranty" history of any used car for free. This terrific tool allows you to check the integrity of a car based on year, make, and model. The manufacturer might fix mechanical failures listed here for free, even if a recall was never done! Happy shopping -
http://www.edmunds.com/car-maintenance/guide-page.html

Let's face it - it's an exciting time to alive. The interesting and downright odd statistics that I find online compel me to pass them along. I bet you'll learn something you didn't know...
 

M for Maserati: Nice color, but you're safer in a white one

Who knew that the color of your car determines its safety? Is black truly more likely to crash than silver, for instance?  A thorough study conducted by an Australian university will have you wondering.

Even the most unlikely branch of the auto industry has skeletons under the hood. Drivers of hybrids, those angelic, planet-friendly Superheroes, are more likely to hit a pedestrian than drivers of regular gasoline-powered vehicles. Scandalous, indeed.

In a moment I'll tell you how to watch out for Jack the Jaywalker. But first, let's take a moment to be grateful for the people in our progressive society that collect statistics. As boring of a job as it might seem, it's profoundly important: imagine living in a country that doesn't publish safety information on cars, car seats, food, drugs, etc. These countries exist, and I for one thank God I don't live in one. Say it with me: America, yeah! 

Point being, we can easily apply public knowledge and turn it into power. So let's get started. 

The Insurance Institute for Highway Safety (IIHS) tells us hybrids may be 20 percent more likely to be involved in pedestrian crashes with injuries than their all-gasoline twins. "When hybrids operate in electric-only mode pedestrians can't hear them approaching," said one of the study's leaders, "so they might step out into the roadway without checking first to see what's coming."

Even if you have no plans to own a hybrid in the future, we're all pedestrians at some point, and it's just as much our responsibility to look out for ourselves as it is the driver to be defensive. Survival of the fittest means being mentally fit, too.

If you, like me, are among the Americans who own or who plan to purchase a hybrid soon, then you also might want to know that the IIHS is a non-profit, independently-funded crash test group dedicated to reducing the losses — deaths, injuries, and property damage — from crashes on the nation's highways. Anyone can go to their web site and review crash test results for a car they own or are considering owning (hybrid or not.) What excites me particularly is that several hybrids are now topping the list for safest cars.

Inevitably the Toyota Prius and Honda Insight have become the latest hybrids to get the IIHS's Top Safety Pick award. But many other types of vehicles tested well, too. Ford has made a big push to make a mark of its own in safety. So Ford's trophy case, including Volvo, Lincoln and Mercury, now includes more Top Safety Pick awards than any other manufacturer.

Honda Civic Hybrid: A Top Safety Pick if you like sedans

To earn the award, a vehicle has to earn top scores in the Institute's front- and side-crash tests as well as its whiplash protection tests. It also has to be available with electronic stability control, a feature that helps avoid loss of control during sharp turns or sudden maneuvers. This technology, which helps drivers to maintain control in abrupt maneuvers, could reduce the risk of a fatal crash by as much as a third, according to the Institute's research.

If you're interested in a hybrid, the new Ford Fusion is giving other hybrid sedans a run for their money in terms of sleek design and fuel economy. EPA estimates are 41 MPG in the city and 36 MPG on the highway. Here's a link to a great video that shows off the features of Ford's newest green machine: http://money.cnn.com/video/pf/2009/05/21/pf.dapena.ford.fusion.review.cnnmoney/

But buyers beware: hybrid manufactuter is still a budding science. If you are like me and you're prodding around the used market, we're looking at vehicles from the past decade, when hybrids were almost experimental. No wonder many of the first models out the womb have a long list of recalls and technical issues, like the Toyota Highlander Hybrid which was born in 2006. It took a class action suit to get Toyota to step up and replace the faulty inverters which made many new Highlander owners spit green out instead of save it. That's a $9,000 repair. Ouch. Case in point: do your homework and read reviews. And if you can avoid buying the first edition or version of anything, do so.

All hiccups aside I'd still consider a model from the late 2000's as long as the seller agrees to address issues and lower the price if necessary. But one thing I'll never do is buy a sedan for my day-to-day driving. This is due to "crash physics": It's well known that size and weight influence injury likelihood. In a collision involving two vehicles that differ in size and weight, the people in the smaller, lighter vehicle will be at a disadvantage. The bigger, heavier vehicle will push the smaller, lighter one backward on impact. This means less force on people in the heavier vehicle and more on the people in the lighter one. Greater force means greater risk, so people in the smaller, lighter vehicle are more likely to be injured. 

Even in single-vehicle crashes, heavier vehicles have an advantage because they are more likely to move, bend, or deform objects they hit.

Ford Escape Hybrid: Even Mother Nature would be proud 

In short, there are too many "real-life" dummies on the road NOT watching where they are going. I feel good and right in my mid-size truck, and I'll feel even better when I trade her in for a Ford Escape Hybrid. To this day I can remember the first time I ever drove a truck with my Uncle Mark. We were in the country and I liked the power and feel. Even though I wasn't convinced that day that I'd be a truck owner, he certainly planted the seed. Now you won't catch me in anything else. Until, of course, my Maserati is delivered for "play time."

As for whether or not I'll insist on white, well, that's probably being a bit too stringent. But for those of you curious about the study I mentioned when we started, Monash University in Melbourne studied more than 850,000 multi-vehicle collisions to find that no other shade of automotive paint was safer than white when it came to vehicles involved in collisions (no matter what the time of day or ambient light level). In daylight bang-ups, black cars had the worst luck with a 12-per-cent higher risk than white. Grey was second, at 11-per-cent riskier, and our Canadian favourite, silver, came in third with a 10-per-cent margin. Red and blue were tied for fourth.

Why white is safest, I'm not sure. But if anyone has any guesses, I'm all ears. Signing off, this is Cherry Pie. Thanks for reading and please don't forget to comment, even if it's just to throw cabbage at my head and tell me to keep my day job ;D 

Sources That Provided Data For Today's Blog:

http://www.edmunds.com/car-maintenance/guide-page.html

http://money.cnn.com/video/pf/2009/05/21/pf.dapena.ford.fusion.review.cnnmoney/

http://money.cnn.com/galleries/2009/autos/0908/gallery.safest_hybrids/index.html

http://www.iihs.org/

http://www.iihs.org/news/rss/pr111711.html

http://www.driving.ca/safest+colour/2246342/story.html

Accepting advice on how to ask for a woman's number

Today, for the first time ever, I gave my phone number to a woman I had just met. My intentions were good, but I'm quite sure that she and everyone watching now think I'm a lesbian.

//Sighs.

Back to the drawing board.

It is a challenging moment for a gal when she realizes that most of her friends are no longer single, live far away, or simply don't share any of her interests any more. Some of my friends have gone out and gotten themselves hitched, and since then, literally disappeared. They are a bit like lost lighters, or lost chapsticks.. Where do the married really go? But that is a whole other blog topic.

At any rate, the need to expand my social circle and make new friends has developed. The Good Man Upstairs has certainly been helping. But I'm not sure what He had in mind today when He threw this particular bone my way. Maybe prayers were coming in more slowly than usual due to the rain, and a little hump day entertainment was in order.

So there I am, sitting at the table of one of my favorite hole-in-the-wall eateries where my clients have graciously invited me, when up walks the waitress, with this immediate, blinding aura. She had a smile like a sweet piece of southern apple pie. The more we talked, the more she reminded of me, only Hispanic, and in an apron (which is pretty much me, in an apron). She was friendly, well-spoken, and had a great attitude. I'm not sure how to describe what I felt. I was attracted, but not in a physical way. Sometimes you simply like a person's... vibe. You, like the Beach Boys song..

//Starts snapping her fingers.... I'm pickin' up good vibrations... She's givin' me expectations...

Sorry. I do that a lot. Back to the point... I'm sure that this happens to a lot of people. We meet someone, and a "friend spark" flies, but we're sure how to act on it. In my case today, I simple wanted to initiate a "lady-date," which is the womanly version of a "man-date." You may remember the term as it was popularized by last year's rom-com "I Love You Man." It's when two people of the same sex have friendly hang out time.

So I had a decision to make. I could leave with my tail between my legs, and risk always wondering if this nice-looking female and I could have become great friends. Or, I could take a leap into the unknown. Maybe this was God's way of gently pushing me out of my comfort zone. After all, as long as I'm in it, I will never achieve the things I want to. Of this I am certain.

I'll admit, the look on her face as I handed her the piece of paper was not exactly what I had anticipated. It was a cross between flattery and slight mortification. It didn't help that my nervous chatter attracted a few male onlookers who seemed to be hoping that it was indeed a romantic exchange, which certainly would have been the highlight of their day.

But you know.. The older people get, the more they report that they regret the things they didn't do vs. the things they did do. At least I can say that I tried, and there's no reason for regretting that. The only question that remains is.. Will she call? :D

Signing off, and happy hump day.

C.P.

Smart rabbits still do their homework...

Having managed to survive childhood and even high school, I am finally getting the ropes of adulthood, too.  The further I go along, the more I understand the value of thinking for myself.  Just because people around us think they know what's best does not excuse us from making our own, well-researched decisions.  

To share an important experience I recently had, which may help you in the future, as well, let me just start by saying that we should treasure the advice of older friends in their 40's and 50's. Mine have led me to believe that our two greatest assets are not houses nor cars - they are in fact our mental and physical health.

For me personally mental health is easier and more fun to look after than the physical. I'd much rather play an improv game or do a crossword, for example, than jog for an hour or floss my stubborn teeth. Both are equally important, though. So on my recent trip to the eye doctor I made sure to ask all the right questions, like whether or not my vision had improved, and if the Doc had any tips on proper eye health. To my delight my sight hadn't changed much, but it seemed the technology of the eye contact had. I took home a trial pair of contacts called Air Optix by the manufacturer CIBA, which the Doc said I could sleep in. How convenient, I thought to myself, and like the silly rabbit who thinks he really stole the kiddies' Trix this time, I hopped along my way. 

I wore my new contacts for a breezy month, occasionally sleeping in them, but not every night. They were comfortable, so I called in my order for a few boxes. But when I got there the staff tried to sell me a different brand. I questioned the switch, but they assured me that this brand was of equal quality, and that I could sleep in these, too. Never once was a warning issued of any kind. And so once again, I headed back down the trail. After all, you can trust a doctor and its staff. (Right?)

Back down the rabbit hole I popped in my new contacts. They felt fresh and clean. I dozed off to sleep, dreaming of freshly boiled carrots, lettuce fields, and.. Well, you get the point. But when I awoke, things were a little... fuzzy. 

I noticed clouds in my peepers that had never appeared before. And so, being the certified research nerd that I am, I jumped on the information superhighway. After just a few minutes of scanning through an academic journal and WebMD, still groggy and half-asleep, I stumbled upon an article edited by the FDA. It was discussing infections associated with contacts. And then came the BIG kahuna: overnight wear of soft contact lenses increased the risks of eye infection by 500%.  Suddenly I was bright-eyed and bushy tailed!

How could my doctor not have informed me of this? Being obviously competent, I'm sure she was aware of this risk. Did she assume I already knew? It turned out, she had assumed I knew a lot of things. And so I have come up with a list of 6 things that contact lens users need to be aware of, just in case their doctors are assumptive like mine. Of course more information exists that we lens wearers need to know, but I feel like these are the most commonly skipped items.

6 important things that contact lens users need to know

1. FDA Warning: Even if you are using lenses approved by the FDA as "extended wear," overnight use makes you much more susceptible to eye infection than if you pop them out beforehand. James Saviola, M.D., of the FDA, says this is because "contact lenses stress the cornea by reducing the amount of oxygen to the eye. They can also cause microscopic damage to the surface of the cornea, making it more susceptible to infection."  (See source below)

2. Consequences of infection: One of the worst infections caused by contact lens use is bacterial keratitis, which CAN, if not successfully treated, lead in the worst case to the loss of the eye.

3.  Smokers, males, wearers under 25, and recent beginners in contacts, all have increased risk.

4.  Beware of OTC. Over the counter eye drops have also been found to be risk factors. My doctor recommended Systane ultra, which I find are effective. Make sure you load up on samples while you are still at the clinic. Those little bottles are killer on the wallet.

5.  Watch the water you're exposed to. You shouldn't swim or shower with your contacts in (both of which I have done as I never received proper warnings.)

6. The safest option with least risk: use disposables. Being able to have a fresh pair of soft contact lenses means less chance of infection, less cleaning, and more comfort, especially for people whose eyes naturally produce more protein which leaves deposits on the contact lenses

It's our own responsibility to protect ourselves....

The greater question is that if Dr. Blindsight skipped out on this information, what else are doctors skipping out on? Are they trying to think for us? Maybe my optometrist thought I would choose convenience over risk. But it isn't her job to think for me. Her job is to advise me of my options and their risks, so that I can make my own informed decision. 

I for one have been motivated to rev up my reading engine when I receive health advice, even from someone who is qualified to dispense it. We all should. I also can't help but wish my parents had taught me to do extra homework instead of just trusting someone with a fancy title. One thing is for sure: this little bunny, no matter how silly, will never trade convenience for health. I hope you don't either. 

Sources and Discussion Boards:

http://www.webmd.com/fda/focusing-on-contact-lens-safety?page=1

http://www.lens101.com/air-optix-aqua.html

Lifestyles of the single and not-so-famous

Tags: singles, monogamy, infidelity, exercise for weight control, studies concerning sex drive, fad diets, nutrition, physiological programming 

 

Raquel Welch: 1 Million Yrs. B.C.

Nowadays people think hunters and gatherers were of a society long ago... But I beg to differ. In fact, we're all still hunting. The only thing that's changed is what we're shooting the spears at. 

On warm nights the cavelady nestles next to her caveman as her war paint (lash-fattening mascara) and high-tech weaponry (hair straighteners and high heels) grow dust from a war fought long ago. Ah, yes, married folks enjoy a deep sense of companionship that only Tarzan and Jane truly understand. Outside the cave, though, conditions are not so safe for us "spinsters".... 

I'll be the first to admit that I, like other singletons, get excited when I make a new pal who is also flying solo. After all, no one likes to do battle alone. One-man armies don't exactly stack up the victories...

We need a back-up, a tennis buddy, a squirt of ketchup on our fries. Humans, like their animal counterparts, enjoy pairs, whether they be of things, people, or munchies. Dating is no different. We need that buddy to gab to when a date goes well (or goes down in flames :D).  

But single pals are worth their weight in gold for other reasons. Sometimes they give us little nuggets of wisdom that we didn't know, or that we had been forgetting to put into place. Take Lady Esther, for instance. On my way home tonight, as I pondered excuses to skip my work-out, I received her text. It just so happened that she was already in the gym. Except she added that she was "getting ready for bikini season."

I thought to myself, sounds more like open season, and I jokingly responded that I didn't know she was a hunter like myself.  She argued that she was not a hunter; rather, her goal is to look like the kind of fit man she wants to attract.

Clever, Lady E. Very clever. I still say you are hunting, but let's take a moment to analyze this.

Here's something all of us - men, women, single, married, divorced - should bear in mind. The qualities we are looking for in a mate should be qualities that we already exhibit, or at least that we are working hard toward achieving. Otherwise, why would we have any right to demand it from another?

Likewise, it's important for people already in relationships to take care of themselves. Ladies, I feel compelled to point out that this may be more important for us than for men. Recent research published in the Oxford University Press (see link below) says "even when both men and women make a heartfelt, sacred vow of chastity, the men find it much harder to keep than the woman."  The study also said that not only do men have a much stronger sex drive than women, they will take more risks and incur more costs for sex. (Remember President Clinton!) 

Truthfully we are all physiologically programmed to prowl: monogamy is only possible because humans make a concerted effort to stay faithful. I believe a majority of married people would agree (hitched folks, this is your cue to comment.) The point is that if we are looking our best, and feeling our best (both directly related to exercise), then we are making our mates' jobs (complete and loving fidelity) all the more easy.

It's equally important for us to take care of ourselves the right way. Last year my older sister, Alyssa, dropped over 60 lbs. People who saw her afterward were in a state of shock. The immediate reaction was, what was her "diet trick"? I would simply laugh and say, mathematics. 

It’s not new news that fad diets are unsuccessful over the long term. Time and again studies show that people who yo-yo diet are more likely to gain more weight after their diet is over than if they didn’t diet at all. Not to mention how unhealthy this is for the human body. 

“Most individuals want cutting-edge solutions for weight loss, and fad diets offer, at least on the surface, ‘new’ ways to beat the boring mathematical reality of long-term weight loss,” says Robin Steagall, nutrition communications manager for the Calorie Control Council.

Truth be told, the proper solution does take longer, but it produces healthier results and habits that one can live with forever. Which brings me back to Alyssa's success. One tool that aided her was livestrong.com, a daily calorie and exercise calculator that tracks your weight loss. Over the months I watched her send the pounds packing as she completely re-arranged her lifestyle habits. Imagine that.. the old fashioned "burn more than you consume actually" works.  Of course it took discipline on her part. But she had her eyes on the ball, so that when she swung, she was sure to hit. 

Some advice to others looking to develop that same discipline is, number one, listen to the motivational experts who say it takes 20 days to build a habit. Find a way to be active in some respect for 20 days, and after that, you will feel odd if you don't exercise. I am living proof of this. I am certainly not the slimmest chicken, but I enjoy a great energy level and I've maintained my weight for 7 years in part because I've committed myself to 20 minutes of activity per day, whether it be dancing like a maniac in my bedroom or trotting around my neighborhood.

Second, use your FREE resources: Google shows 488,000,000 results from a mere "health advice" search.

Another important tip that many successful weight-droppers have reported is that you should write down your goals in specific detail, and write down why they are important to you. The slew of health problems linked to being overweight and improper nutrition should be enough to influence people to care for their temples. But everyone has their own reasons.. what are yours? To age gracefully? To influence your family to be healthy, too? Or just to feel great?

Or maybe, like Esther and I, you want the best possible armor, so that when Mr. or Mrs. Future Flinstone comes walking by, you'll be ready ;) 

Sources and Recommended Readings:

http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/cultural-animal/201012/the-reality-the-male-sex-drive

Experienced Arc-builders Wanted

Does anyone recall the movie Evan Almighty? It was the comedic version of Noah's Arc. God calls a typical American businessman named Evan, played by ingenious Office star Steve Carrell,  to build an arc for a "great flood that cometh."  Naturally, his reaction is nooooooooo way, and he continues on his way to work.

But God has other, no-pressure plans. First, animals start following Evan around everywhere he goes. In pairs, of course. Ducks squawking and mooing cows soon create interoffice static. Then the Noah beard starts to grow. Big and furry, but shaving is to no avail. Within five minutes it's back, hairier than ever. And as much as he tries to run from his calling, he eventually realizes that he and he alone is the man for the job.

I am slowly but surely understanding that God may be calling me, too. Except, I don't particularly like what He is proposing, so I keep sending Him to voicemail.

Let me re-phrase: the thought excites me, yes. The task could have real impact on a lot of people. Someone needs to get up and do it. But not just anyone can. Clearly, God thinks that I am that someone. And yet, I like to act like I'm deaf sometimes. Cuz frankly, I'm spooked.

 

God: "Charisse, dear, it's time to get started."

Me: "What's that, God, I can't quite hear you? I'm busy with research...."

God, laughing, "No problem, dear. I'll be here when you're ready."

Then, something happens, that makes me even MORE angry, even MORE determined to get involved and... fulfill that pesky calling.

My calling, my calling, this nuissance! This total distraction from my brilliant enterprise - my financial security, all my other ideas! Am I supposed to just throw them all away??

So I tuck this important task neatly back into my pile, and go back to something I think is even more relevant. But between this and that, it's little monkey face is still poking out... Making those fun, monkey noises.. I start to mentally itch, much like a dirty monkey would. Ideas start to swirl. Eventually the midnight oil burns out, so I turn into bed.

Still, I can't help but wonder if I'll awake a Bearded Lady.

Excuse-making marriage-phobe sounds like a cop-out to me

When the welfare of a loved one is on the line, it is time to man up and send marriage fears packing. If Mr. Smith doesn't agree, maybe he should be the one to hit the road.

Tonight I had the pleasure of cooking some authentic cuisine from coastal Veracruz with two close friends. They graciously fielded all of my pesky questions - how many jalapeños for the perfect green chile sauce, why Canola oil, which maza is best for homemade tortillas, and on. What with all my photos and notes you'd have thought I was working undercover for Emeril.  I headed home later armed with a plateful of 5-star empanadas to share with the roomies, a happy belly, and still one unanswered question:  is it reasonable to expect your spouse to marry you?

As we shredded chicken, diced cilantro, and mashed tortillas, many topics flew in and out of the kitchen alley way. One of them proved most shocking: my friends' viewpoint on marriage. In their 15 years shared together they have built a home and created a beautiful family of three polite, outgoing youngsters. It would seem to any outsider that they are committed for the long run. 

Or are they?

I understand that some people don't think it's necessary to get the "legal piece of paper" in order to attest to the love and mutual respect upon which their relationship is found.  And that's how my friend, who we'll call Mr. Smith, feels about the situation. He says divorces are costly and they "change the relationship" (with no further elaboration.) Mrs. Smith observed our conversation with enough silence to give me reasonable room to believe they did not share the same philosophy. At first I supported the idea, thinking it was a novel concept in our age of high divorce rates. Later that night, though, my opinion changed dramatically upon finding out that by avoiding the knot for the past decade and a half, Mr. Smith has been denying a very vital benefit to the woman that he supposedly loves deeply. 

I'm referring to the Golden Ticket. The right to vote, the ability to find a rewarding career with salary and health insurance VS. a dead-end job, grants to study or open a business, and above all, the chance to build and use credit. These cornerstones of American life lie on one side of a very narrow bridge: the legal status side. 

But this isn't even about politics. This is about l.o.v.e. And to me it's an open and shut case. For Pete's sake: it's been 15 years. Here you have a dedicated, humble woman who is raising your children and will be doing so for the next 15 years regardless of all other circumstances. In just 24 months Mr. Smith could change all her opportunities. Bippety, boppety, boo, said the Fairy Godmother [i.e. good immigration attorney.]

Am I wrong to think that when you truly care for someone then that person's well being should be just as important as your own? And in this country well being has everything to do with your legal status.

And yet, Smith does nothing.

I cannot help but be incensed by the situation. I'm not even sure who makes me more angry - Smith for not caring enough to do the right thing, or Mrs. Smith for allowing him to treat her thus. 

When the welfare of a loved one is on the line, it is time to man up and send marriage fears packing. If Mr. Smith doesn't agree, maybe he should be the one to hit the road. 

Americans & Illegal Immigrants: Sharing The Shadow

Despite the drastic impact that immigration makes on our nation's health many Americans choose to stay in the dark as though unaffected

It concerns me that a majority of people lack basic knowledge about the immigration legislation over which our Congressmen and women are debating this summer. This issue has far-reaching impacts on all Americans, not just the 11 million who reside here unlawfully.

Republicans have a valid point in saying that lawbreakers should be punished, yet to deny them a pathway to citizenship if they worked to earn it would put our country at an obvious disadvantage. Many people in general are not aware of the contribution that this minority group makes to our quality of life. Low labor prices translate to low operating costs for business owners, which means Americans pay less for services and essentials, like groceries and housing. Hispanics' growing buying power and tax contributions also play a key factor in our economy's health. 

In evaluating the statistics it seems to me that the benefits to keep unauthorized aliens here outweigh the reasons to send them home. I say this to opponents: until the government schedules a mass deportation we need a realistic solution, not more complaints.

To highlight one of the largest problems that can be fixed by lawmakers here's a situation in which a client of mine found himself. He was offered $11 per hour for a job. But when payday came, he was handed $8 per hour in cash. The difference, the employer explained, was to pay the employee's taxes. Yet when the end of the year came the employee never received a tax return or any record of his earnings, nor was he paid time and a half after 40 hours. All of this data "disappeared."

Let me explain why this is relevant. Instead of paying payroll taxes, the employer worked this person "under the table," and evaded its tax responsibilities. Unlike honest enterprises it pocketed a handful of tiny percentages which add up in the long run: state and federal unemployment taxes (about 3% of wages), matching Social Security tax (6.2% of wages), matching Medicare (another 1.45%), worker's compensation insurance (a violation of state law), and overtime (a violation of Federal law [Fair Labor Standards Act (FLSA)]). This doesn't include any benefits, sick days, or vacation that someone working 60 - 70 hours a week may accrue with a reputable company.

Although this is clearly illegal, it's happening all over the country. Even staffing agencies who pretend to help people find employment take advantage of employees who are afraid to stand up for themselves because of their legal status. Yet are the employers to blame? Who's to say they aren't doing this just to hide that they are hiring illegal aliens? Maybe they have no choice.

We should remember that there are three sides to every store - my version, your version, and the truth. No matter where you stand on this issue, one fact is universal: many American citizens have no idea that problems like the one I just described exist. They don't realize that both businesses and humans suffer because solutions are not being put into place. Since they don't know, they don't care. They are in the shadows right alongside this group of unauthorized workers.

I suggest that part of this issue is education and public awareness. Even if I am only one person, the least that I can do is make a commitment to educating those around me about both sides of this controversial issue. The old arguments - like the one that says illegals don't pay taxes - must be thrown out, and educated ones brought in. In fact, households headed by unauthorized immigrants paid $11.2 billion in state and local taxes in 2010, according to the Institute for Taxation and Economic Policy. That's quite an injection of resources into a turkey that's been growing thinner, I think any U.S. economist would agree. Here's another interesting statistic:

"According to the Perryman Group, if all unauthorized immigrants were removed from the United States, the country would lose $551.6 billion in economic activity, $245 billion in Gross Domestic Product (GDP), and approximately 2.8 million jobs, even accounting for adequate market adjustment time." (See Source Below)

Our country cannot afford a loss this staggering. Not when our GDP is shrinking. Who is with me? When we take the time to educate ourselves we become more powerful and make better decisions. Join with me in writing to your Congressional representative about this issue. Get on your social networks and start talking. Form an opinion, any opinion! But don't stay in the shadows voluntarily. A solution to this issue is absolutely indispensable for the health of our nation, and you can be a part of it.

Remember that if we stand for nothing, we'll fall for anything.

Sincerely,

An Opinionated American

*Assumes a new business. Established businesses may pay less. In LA, as an employer builds his reserve of unused Unemployment contributions, the percentage that he must pay out to the state decreases. In most states the Unemployment tax is applied only to the first $7,000 of each employee's annual salary.

Sources:

http://www.laworks.net/Downloads/UI/wts/2012ratetable.pdf

http://www.accountingcoach.com/online-accounting-course/20Xpg04.html

http://www.laworks.net/faqs/faq_workcomp_employerdisputedclaims.asp

Looks like Double Jeopardy, wouldn't you agree?

Tonight a Permanent U.S. Resident is sitting in a D.C. immigration prison awaiting deportation. He has been in jail for almost 3 years. In South Carolina, another Permanent Resident, a female who has lived in the U.S. since 1979, is also in the custody of the Immigration and Customs Enforcement (ICE). Some 12 years ago she stole a t-shirt, was judged, convicted, and completed her probation. So why has she been arrested for the same crime - again?

ICE authorities have broadly misinterpreted immigration legislation in order to detain and deport legal residents all over the U.S., according to the CAIR coalition in D.C. (www.caircoalition.org/), which provides free legal consultation to immigrants without attorneys. CAIR says this legislation is poorly-written, and that it is causing many immigrants to be deported for minor criminal convictions for which they have long-since paid their dues.

Does this remind anyone else of the Double Jeopardy clause in the Constitution? The clause was created to protect people from injustice just like this. It holds that no one may be accused and convicted of the same crime twice. How is it possible that the Supreme and District courts has not intervened? 

Imagine you find a rat on the street. You bring it home, bathe it, and dress up in a pretty blue Sunday bonnet. He cleans up well. So well that he might even fool some of your friends who have had one too many cocktails. But at the end of the day, he's still a rat. A fat and smelly one. And that's what this law application is: something dirty disguised as something good for society. The law being used to detain former convicts was intended for felons and those who committed violent crimes. But even in such a case, can we still justify punishing an individual for the same crime twice?

The time has come for us to stop tolerating federal abuse of laws. The heat must be turned up under Congressional rabbit tails if we expect a solution to start cooking. Immigration overhaul had better find its way to the top list of priorities in the Obama administration, otherwise we'll be staring at the same problems in twenty years. Am I mistaken to believe we are a country of progression? Twelve million illegal immigrants aren't going away overnight, and neither are the devastating costs that their illegality creates for our economy.

Slowly the American people lose their voices because they don't use them. Many of us know that we have to act, and know HOW to act, yet we do nothing. Have we forgotten that to know and not do, is tantamount to not knowing?

Thomas Jefferson is turning over in his grave.

Cheers to GIN (using your alcohol of choice :)

Kevin Trudeau, one of the founders of the Global Information Network, may have a controversial past, but one thing is for sure: he has very powerful ideas about personal development. When a friend first introduced me to GIN I was not convinced that I could benefit from it. But in the course of a very rough personal patch that included the loss of some close friendships and the need to start over, I realized I needed to change what I was doing, which meant also changing what I was listening to.

Luckily for me, my friend was gently persistent and continued to e-mail me links that he thought might interest me. Eventually I started poking around the GIN web site as an affiliate, and I'm truly glad that I did. 

It turns out that the founders' high levels of wealth and business experience give them the credibility that a skeptic like me needed. After a lot of research, listening to the site's featured audios, and reading others' experiences, I feel confident in saying that GIN is a professional organization created by some of the most brilliant business minds in the world. They dedicate their time to providing resources and knowledge that enable people to improve their professional lives and achieve their dreams. Many of the speakers' messages are very powerful. Some might even hurt to listen to the first few times, or even get you angry, because they are real. They are designed to wake you up from "auto pilot," and pull you out of the "rat race," where a lot of us Americans are stuck.   

One of the most inspiring messages that I've gotten from GIN so far is that the successful are no smarter than the average person, nor did they start with more money or some other type of advantage.  

They simply chose to think a different way. They dared to dream, and dream specifically. They found the burning desire that motivated them to do things that they hadn't dared do before, even if that meant moving out of their comfort zone. After all, we can't expect things in our lives to change, if we are not willing to change things in our lives.

I don't know about you, but I desire a purpose-driven life in which I develop all of my skills and talents not just for my own benefit, but for the greater good. GIN has reminded me that this is more than obtainable. It also made me feel at peace with the right, although very difficult, choice in leaving certain friendships behind. If someone is not contributing to your growth, then they are holding it back. It is better, I now believe, to have only 5 real friends who care about your happiness, than to have 20 who care only for how you can contribute to theirs.

It is a beautiful feeling to be uniquely blessed with friends to love. I am so excited to attend my first GIN event in Las Vegas this Spring. From what other members have said, the events are truly life-changing. I would love to have you as a guest (as long as you're someone I like :P)

Good night everyone. Thanks for all your support last year and for coming back to the New Year's blog. All comments are encourage!