One of the most devastating moments of a youngster's life is sure to be on the day he loses a favorite and necessary extremity, like a toe. I remember that day like it was yesterday.
A mirror that had yet to be mounted was left to chance in the hallway of our home. Somehow my prized, right pinky toe found the edge of that mirror as I came skipping out of the bath. And next was the red stuff. Loooooooots of it.
A mirror that had yet to be mounted was left to chance in the hallway of our home. Somehow my prized, right pinky toe found the edge of that mirror as I came skipping out of the bath. And next was the red stuff. Loooooooots of it.
Naturally, this being my first "serious" injury as a tot of perhaps 8 years old, I was convinced that I was losing too much blood. And that on top of that, my toe was a goner. I began to compose its epitaph: ....Thanks for the walks in the park.. Thanks for helping me learn the 'This little piggy' song... Thanks for being the caboose without a complaint.
My neighbors were immediately dispatched. The tale began to spread, and we had no choice but to call upon Mommy Dearest, who was at one of her three jobs at the time. Poor Mom, as if she didn't have enough to worry about. Added to her charge now was the burial of my lost digit, and the rest of the 9-toed 8-year old left behind to grieve it.
But to my surprise I got to keep that toe. It turned out that my perception of the injury was not nearly as bad as the injury itself. I took away an interesting lesson that day. The way we perceive things in the world changes our viewpoint, and our entire lives, completely. Sometimes we expect the worse, and get the best. Other times, it's vice versa. But at the end of the day - your take on the situation, how you decide to view your own circumstances - is all that's real. Everything else feels like details.
Most of us are concerned about how others perceive us - but what about your perception of yourself? What if you didn't care at all how others perceived you? How would you behave differently? I can give you a good example. My Acting teacher, Dr. Tony Medlin, is a nothing short of a salaried toilet that you might find at the end of your neighbor's driveway. He is a foul man with no filter who is not afraid to piss you off. In fact, that's his goal. And my is he fascinating.
The best thing about Dr. Tony is that he doesn't give a care in the world whether you like him or not. He is a real person who hides nothing. If you can accept him at face value, he will help lead you to treasure: "There are diamonds in the river of shit if you aren't afraid to go in!" He declares as he stands at the front of the class.
"You bastard, quit getting here late," he regularly barks at a student who is habitually tardy. While we play Improv and warm-up games he bawls out, "Stop sucking!" And you know happens next? We start improving. As students we know that we are to show up to his class "on our game." That is what's expected of us, and while not everyone rises to the challenge, most of us do. We have been inspired to take an elective more seriously. He's keeping us on our toes because we're forced to think on our feet.
My perception of Dr. Tony is that he lives a very rich life because he is himself 100% of the day. I wonder what life would be like if we could just all let our guards down.
Our family cat, Louis, hates me, no doubt, when I let my own guard down. His quiet afternoon snooze on the sofa of our home is loudly interrupted any time I am left home by myself. As soon as I hear the last car roar off I run to the stereo and crank it up. And that's the moment when I transform.
I am a footloose Kevin Bacon meets a maniac of a Flashdancer. I pounce on top of furniture and get down for the caterpillar carpet burn. My air guitar puts David Lee Roth to shame. On a good day I'll even slide down the hallway in my socks and undies, making Tom Cruise look like my amateur stunt double.
Even if I only have 5 minutes to 'rock out' I do. Prince's Let's Go Crazy lets the bull right out of the gate. Sometimes I'll slow it down for songs like the Beautiful Ones, and I imagine that I'm Queen Mab of a new branch of ballet, "Stripper With Her Clothes On." This, right here, is the realest side of me.. It's when I feel the most free and the least judged. I believe that we are all a little afraid of judgement, and of that word again, perception.
So I guess if I could send out a message, I would send out one like Dr. Tony's. Don't be afraid to do your own Mashed Potato. Even if today you can only be "you" in private, this is one step closer to being "you" in public tomorrow. Maybe one of your toes will pop off. Maybe you'll lose blood some other way. But Mom, or a friend (or one of those creepy, magic State Farm agents) will appear, and your wound will heal. It will be well worth the pain just to feel a bit of freedom.
When are you the most free?
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